I’ve put off making a facebook event to get all the numbers I lost (with my phone on some drunken deranged debacle) and I have had a new phone for weeks now. There was a barely perceptible tension. I figured it was because I didn’t want to answer the question, “Hey, what’s up?” or “How are you?”
I’ve distanced myself from all the people I don’t want to burden but also distanced myself from people who became burdens for one reason or another (fleeting friendships, ones that don’t cross county lines for one reason or another). People interact with and include others in their life mutually in a balanced relationship. Ebbs and flows. Yin and yang. All’s well that ends well. That sounds like a silly sentiment written like that. Even if conversations don’t happen for months, it can pick up right where it left off. There’s no unfairly distributed stress or strain. I thought that one-sidedness was the norm. My bridge never stood the test of time. Or pressure. Or stress. Or strain. It was a well-made bridge, but the cables were snapped in some places and reinforced strangely in others. The weight was unevenly spread. Trucks and cars and RVs and scooters traversed the roadway and it swiftly became the most-used bridge in the whole area. Wear and tear was inevitable. But the bridge is so beautiful with its quirks here and there. The seemingly random cracks in the surface. The bridge was great. I loved that bridge. But the bridge can only take so much before the poorly engineered surface gives way and sucks up all the dark matter around it and turns into a black hole of ever-changing proportions.
[[[[[[[AND I HAVE TOO MUCH TO SAY SO I THINK I’M JUST GONNA MAKE VIDEOS AND COMICS AND ART AND STILL WRITE BUT I NEED OTHER OUTLETS BECAUSE LOOK AT ALL THIS CRAZY JIBBER JABBER.]]]]]]]]]
It’s hard to distance yourself when social media is all up in your shit all the time. You visit a page, there’s 15 different ways to “tell your friends about this!” Um. No thanks. I’ve been so inundated with accessibility that I was glad when I lost my phone. I didn’t rush to get a new one. I didn’t have people asking “why didn’t you call me?” Telephones go both ways. (Like Pete Wentz). And me probably. I love and hate fully. The stark contrast goes completely against perception. It’s absurd.
And I can’t write anymore. I have partially formed thoughts on 457334 different topics and they all compete.
Anyway, I caught up with some friends today via telephone and it was pretty neat. ❤
The universe hugs and bitch slaps me at the same time.